Eli Boat

This clip of an Huntington Beach surfer dude has been making me laugh for quite a while now, and I thought I would share it with the Eliboat audience. Classic stuff.

It was with great sadness this morning that I learned of Phil Bolger’s passing from an apparent suicide. Bolger, for those of you who are unaware, was a prolific and eccentric yacht designer who resided close to where I grew up in Gloucester, MA. As a kid, I would see all kinds of Bolger boats around the docks and on the local moorings, though I had no idea who had designed all of these strange looking craft. At some point before I was a teenager, the name Phil Bolger became known to me because my piano teacher, Mr. Loring, built himself a Bolger designed skiff. At dinner, after my Tuesday night lessons, Mr. Loring would talk about how great his Bolger boat was, and my dad would tease him that he had one of the ugliest boats ever. There is no doubt that Bolger’s boats were not for everyone, but given the vast expanse of his oeuvre surely he had a design to suit just about anyone. Perhaps the best way to get acquainted with Bolger is to find a copy of Boats With an Open Mind. I came across this sad news while reading the front page of Sailing Anarchy, and there they included a brief description and a link from Bob Perry who had posted a trailerSailor forum posting from one of Bolger’s friends eulogizing him. I will include that link here. When you see a Gloucester gull dory being rowed around or a funny looking boxy sailboat being happily sailed around this summer, think of the man who designed it. There will never be another Phil Bolger.

There has been an unusually pointed focus on maritime issues recently with the pirate situation in the Gulf of Aden. It is always a little bit frustrating to hear the rubes on CNN and the like mangle nautical terms and concepts, but also nice to see boats on the tube, albeit boats in a tough situation. Piracy in this area and others has been a big problem for years that was ignored by the media. The business model is pretty simple really, and is roughly analogous to gaining construction or refuse contracts in areas of this country where the mob exerts its influence. The pirates know that the shipping companies will pay up, and until just recently, the shipping companies know that everything will be fine so long as they cough up the money. It is a price of doing business sadly. Ever since a Ukrainian freighter, loaded with tanks and other weapons, was hijacked, the concept of piracy was thought to only exist in Johnny Depp movies, but it is now a bona fide sensation. Hillary Clinton announced last week that the US will not negotiate with pirates, not that they were ever looking to negotiate with the US, but so long as it is a story that people are eating up, why not get in on the action? So, what to do? Well the standoff with the Maersk Alabama was concluded in a way that was quite satisfying to Americans. The question that arises after the military takes care of a situation like that is, why can’t they deal with the whole situation? I don’t know if any of you have taken a look at the US budget pie chart, but half of it is devoted to the military. The many thousands of other programs that comprise our infrastructure are tiny little slivers on the pie. I have heard more than a few people express confusion as to why our navy can not just blow up all the pirates in the area. The seas is too big and there are too many pirates they say. This is where my dad comes in. Now my natural inclination is to dismiss my dad’s ideas, particularly as we both gets older and our interactions seem to become more and more like situations from Seinfeld episodes. With this situation, I think he has a great idea. First of all, all of the ship that are being hijacked by Somali pirates are trying to enter the Suez Canal so that they can gain access to the Mediterranean without having to schlep all the way around the Cape of Good Hope. The entrance to the Suez is like a funnel, and it necessarily concentrates hundreds of ships into the area. This of course makes it easy for the pirates to pick their targets and make some money. With so many ships and so many pirates in small boats, it is nearly impossible for a few warships to effectively deal with the situation. My dad’s idea is to create a narrow shipping lane through the entire gulf that is patrolled by predator drones. If there are enough drones up there to canvas the whole shipping lane, then they stand a much better chance at taking out pirates. Either the drone sees a suspicious boat and takes it out as a preventative measure, or a freighter reports a pirate boat approaching and the closest drone can respond quickly. I am not a military guru by any means, but this seems to be a good use of resources no?

My friend Dan swung by my place yesterday afternoon saying that I needed to see this video of Dutch artist, Theo Jansen, describe and demonstrate his truly incredible wind powered creatures. The basic idea is that these mechanical organisms, once unleashed upon a beach, can live and move around by themselves dealing with the elements as they come. They have evolved from purely mechanical organisms that simply move, to ones that have analog brains of sorts that tell the organism where it is along the beach, ie in the water or further away from it. I think you will appreciate the beauty of movement that Jansen has created; this is a brilliant guy. Ultimately, Dan put it best as the video was winding down on my computer yesterday: “I feel like an idiot after watching this.”

Matt Cohen, the talented maritime photographer who has been featured here on quite a few occasions, has just released his sleek new website. Through some hard work, and an envious amount of gallivanting around the world on yachts, Matt has built up an impressive resume of images. On top of all this, Matt Cohen is one of the nicest guys around. Here is his own press release. Please go check out his site for yourself.

Monday 16 March 2009, Matthew Cohen, an award winning and renowned Nautical & Adventure Photographer releases new website!!!

Matthew Cohen, resides in Newport, RI, but his Nautical Art Work comes to you from all over the world. He is proud to announce the launch of his new website as it is a compilation of over 4 years of competitive racing, more than 10,000 nautical miles of deliveries and cruising, a dozens of countries & US locations, and over 4 months of website work. There are hundreds of prints, attractive and appropriate note cards, as well as soon to arrive calendars for the next 2010 year for sale. Matthew is hired for assignments by many corporate companies, a handful of editorials, as well as private clients. You will find that the images appeal to sailors, boaters, beach patrons, travelers, outdoor activists, wildlife admirers, and those who have a keen eye for art and creativity from a lens and digital camera. Feel free to send him Feedback or any questions you might have regarding; ordering, assignments, image search, terms, or his style. Enjoy! Matthew Cohen Photography www.cohenphotography.com matthew@cohenphotography.com 401 662 6541 P.O. Box 718 Newport, RI 02840
Best, Matthew
NEW WEBSITE IS LIVE! WWW.COHENPHOTOGRAPHY.COM

Below is a favorite picture of mine that Matt snapped of Ross and I during the 2006 110 national championships in Newport.

After a wild and wet Sunday of Frosty action last week, where I actually managed to break my mast, I drove down to the big apple to catch the Westminster Kennel club dog show. I have always wanted to check out the show, being a dog lover with an interest in a bunch of different breeds. During the day you can go to the staging area where all of the dogs hang out before being judged, and, amazingly, you can actually pet them if the owners/handlers are mellow enough to let you do so. Well, I was particularly excited to see the Sussex Spaniels as a group. My parents have had a Sussex, the amazing Truffinator, for the past eleven years. Aside from two others that I’ve seen over that time, I had never seen more than one Sussex in one place at one time before, so it was particularly exciting to see eleven of them all being goofy together yesterday. At the breed judging, it was a surprise to see Stump win despite being ten years old and having just come out of “retirement.” If you haven’t seen video of this dog walking around, and you are a lover of dogs or cute things in general….I suggest that you do; watching this dog amble about is perhaps the very definition of cuteness. Back in 2004 Stump won the sporting group and was a favorite to win best in show, but it was not meant to be. Last night though was Stump’s night. The crowd was going nuts every time it was his turn to walk the floor, and when the final judging came along, it was pretty obvious that the judge had gone for Stump even before she headed back to the judging table to record her decision. What a thrill to see the old man win. One thing is for certain now; it will be even harder to find a Sussex Spaniel puppy should you want one. The breed is the scarcest of any breed, which is odd given how adorable they are. Below are some pictures of the Truffinator around the water and a great picture of the victorious Stump after his victory.

I haven’t posted a carnage video in a while, so here is one that I found to be particularly entertaining. I don’t know why I laughed so hard after watching it, as it really does depict a pretty miserable situation for all parties involved. I am thinking it has something to do with the hideous aesthetics of the boats.

The Frosty season so far has been quite good on all fronts. Most importantly, I am leading the overall series standings, and doing so having sailed in a variety of challenging conditions ranging from the slightest of zephyrs to powerful maelstroms of hurricane force winds. Now, I don’t mean to brag, but since my notable achievement has been ignored on the Frosty email newsletter, I am going to discuss it here. I have spent a considerable amount of time getting Cold Sweat back up to serious racing condition, and I have been able to feel the difference in speed. Late in the summer I glassed the bottom and topsides of the boat with S-glass which I vacuum bagged to the hull with an extremely strong epoxy resin system. On the inside of the boat, I stiffened the hull panel in way of my knees with unidirectional S-glass. I can feel the difference in panel stiffness when I’m sailing. Before I put any glass down, I faired some of the chips, bumps and hollows that were on the hull surface. This has translated into speed so extreme that I have noticed water literally boiling in my wake as I’ve sailed on several occasions. Another improvement that has led to direct speed increases is the carbon fiber tiller extension that I installed. The unique bend characteristics of this oft overlooked item has allowed for a feel of hydrodynamic forces upon my little craft that is simply delightful. I belly laugh as I easily coast past Bruno upwind time and time again, all the while watching him clutch his stubby telephone pole of an extension (which by the way he straps to the centerline with a bungee…he calls that an autopilot…I call it a “feel” killer). I need to be careful not to rub this in too deep here because I know the rest of the fleet is really trying hard. Even Ross has been struggling to deal with the speed that I’ve had. First, at the Scallop cup regatta he was spanked thoroughly whilst I sailed his decades old Flying Fish against him in his far newer Green Eggs and Ham. The next time we raced, he was sailing Flying Fish and sporting a new sail, in a misguided attempt to regain some speed…but it was all for naught. Ross is of course a fierce competitor, and I expect he will step things up a few notches, the question of course is when? My good friend Greg has been sailing in the fleet and posting some good results. As the coach of the national champion BC college sailing team, he knows a thing or two about boat speed. Despite this and having an illegally light boat, he has simply gotten his ass kicked all over the course. I feel bad for him, because of anyone out there, his feelings are probably the most sensitive. This last week he brought a couple of his all american sailors from the team up. His exact words prior to this were “They are going to come up and kick all of our asses…..” Now, I laughed at this hysterical notion right after he uttered it, but that was only in relation to these punks actually beating me, which I knew was literally impossible. I laughed even harder at the conclusion of Sunday’s races when not only did I spank them, but Bruno beat them too! Insane. There is no doubt that Alden and Adam (the two BC hotshots) will quickly overcome the likes of Bruno, but I will be showing them my transom for years to come. It is game on from now on folks. Each day I will improve my program a little bit, and by each day, I mean every single day of the week. This years program is a full time affair that will culminate in my domination of the intergalactics in May. Consider this post the equivalent of Babe Ruth pointing to the center field bleachers in game 3 of the 1932 world series prior to smashing a homer to just that spot. Here is a picture of yours truly exhibiting some of the superhuman form that I’ve shown this season…somebody needs to give me a piss test!

There comes a time in every sailor’s career where he or she either loses control, or simply makes a terrible decision that results in a catastrophic T-bone situation. The earliest one I can recall was when a childhood sailing friend of mine launched his heavy Widgeon into the shiny red rail of my custom Danish Optimist. That was a terrible moment for me, and it took a while for me to forgive Jesse, the skipper of the Widgeon. Over the years I’ve seen all kinds of collisions, and I have in fact been the bad hand at the tiller during a few of these. One time during a light air/heavy current race up in Maine, my tactics of trying to get into the shallowest water possible led our boat to spear a lovely lobsteryacht that was docked in the area. This was a dark moment for sure, especially since there were plenty of spectators, and I was not the owner of either boat. In the last few years, it is hard to escape the seeing eye of a cellphone video camera or just a digital camera. Eliboat has certainly benefited from this convenience, and it is with that we can enjoy (or cringe at) T-Bone moments caught on tape as we see below during a fall Etchells 22 race in Essex, CT. The scene is at a leeward mark rounding as the top five boats approach in a fairly good pack. If any Frosty sailors reading this close their eyes, they can hear the exact same conversation that we wear every Sunday, which is of course “NO ROOM! …DON’T GO IN THERE!” In this case the third place boat decided to ignore these warning calls, and the crisp crunching sound resulting is really quite amazing.

If you look to the list of links to the left, you will see that there is a link to Eliboat gear. There you will find a couple of shirts, a mug and a tote bag that I put up for people to buy should they want to show their support for this most important website. To my knowledge, the only thing sold there has been a tote bag for Eliboat staff photographer and cheese expert Polarlys, who reported back that the bag, while cheap and practically useless, is a very stylish piece of kit that has helped his social life immeasurably. Yesterday, after a dominant performance on my part during the Frosty races, which took place in Rye Harbor instead of our normal launching area, I came home and checked my email and Facebook account. There I saw that my good friend and sometimes Eliboat participant Liam was sporting an Eliboat T-shirt, and looking quite creepy in it! The creepy factor has nothing to do with the shirt of course, but rather with the strange mustache that Liam is nursing. As it turns out, the reason for this is actually quite a good one, as Liam is growing a stache for the month of November in an unorthodox attempt to raise some funds to support prostate cancer research. How he came up with this, I am not sure, but I am proud of the man, and thrilled that Eliboat is front and center in his quest for funds. I’m not sure if you have to be friends with Liam to participate or not, perhaps he can weigh in here to give people details if they want to support the cause. By the way, the fabulous Eliboat artwork featured on the Tshirt and other gear comes by way of a famous Eliboat post and is the work of inhouse artist Bruno.